Archangel Consolidated

Metatron vs Satan

by Joel Fernandez

Everyone knows the story about the war in heaven when Lucifer rebelled against God and got kicked out of heaven along with two thirds of the angels that were in heaven at the time. But there’s a an important part of the story that nobody has been aware of, until now. It is a little known fact outside of heaven that before he fell from heaven and changed his name, Satan had a twin brother. His twin brother was none other than Metatron, the highest ranking archangel. Today we will recount the times that they fought as well as discuss the reasons for the ultimate outcome of their battle.

Both Metatron and Lucifer were choirmasters that worked on a rotation with Seraphiel. At any given point, one of those three led the choir of Seraphim that praises God every day. The twin brothers were supposed to be above the rest of the archangels in power and status, but that obviously changed the day that Lucifer rebelled and became Satan. Both brothers were granted the power of the almighty because they were his most privileged sons, but there was an important detail that ended up preventing Satan from using God’s own power against him. Metatron and Lucifer were granted the power if the Alpha and Omega insofar as they fought in his name. The day that Lucifer rebelled, he lost half of his power and became Satan.

When God found out about Lucifer’s plan to overthrow him, he sent Metatron to talk some sense into his brother; but Lucifer would not listen to reason and went ahead with his plan anyway. The rebellion was actually succeeding until God snapped his finger and cast Lucifer and all of his subordinates out of heaven. When he fell out of heaven, Lucifer became Satan and vowed to continue his campaign against God. Since he knew how much God loved humanity, Satan decided to make all humans suffer sooner or later either on earth or in hell.

Metatron was heartbroken by his former brother’s betrayal of their father. What’s more, his resemblance to his evil twin made Metatron feel guilty for things that he had not even done. Because of that vicarious guilt, he never took credit for any of his victories and chose instead to give all of the glory to God. Since giving the glory to God was standard operating procedure, none of his angelic brethren knew the reason for his extraordinary modesty. To make matters worse, he could not bring himself to kill the one he had once called his dearest brother. As Metatron was the only archangel that was strong enough to kill Satan, that presented a problem for both heaven and earth.

Despite that blatant dereliction of his duty, Metatron remained in heaven as God’s most privileged archangel. He could not muster the resolve necessary to kill his once closest friend until the day that Satan tried to attack three of his brothers who had been ordered to protect Metatron while he was in human form. He arrived in the spirit realm just in time to thwart Satan’s plan and save his beloved brothers by literally punching a hole right through Satan.

A short battle ensued that led to Metatron slamming Satan into the ground after free-falling hundreds of feet. At that point, Metatron reached back and formed a construct that took the shape of a metal spike that covered his whole forearm and stabbed Satan until he stopped moving. His three brothers immediately began to celebrate the death of Satan, but Metatron chose to offer his life to God in an act of ultimate deference. But God chose to spare his favorite archangel that day because of his abundant mercy and because he could not stand the thought of killing an obedient son.

Needless to say, all of heaven celebrated that day while all of hell yelled “murderer”. It seems that hell loved Satan as much as heaven loves Metatron. To that end, Metatron is now hated in hell more than anyone. But he does not worry because he has the support of everyone in heaven, especially God almighty. Sooner or later, Jesus will lead the final charge that may or may not involve invading hell and finishing the rest of the demons off. Until then, humanity will be at liberty to choose their fate. Some will prove too stubborn and prideful to accept God’s attempt to save them from themselves. But in the end, every knee will bow.