Archangel Consolidated

Creation and Evolution

by Joel Fernandez

The origin of humankind has been a subject of debate since time immemorial. Many believe that humans just appeared and evolved into what we are today. Some believe that almighty god created humans as well as the animals and the planet that they inhabit. Today’s conversation will be about how the the origin of humankind is actually a combination of the two schools of thought in ways that you might not have imagined before.

Before god the father came along, the physical universe was a big dark empty space. Picture outer space minus the stars, planets, and so on and so forth. On what can only be assumed was a whim at that point, god the father began his creation process. He started with a heavenly planet in the spirit dimension that was surrounded by nothingness instead of outer space because outer space did not exist in the spirit dimension at that time. He shared that planet with his first three sons; Rahab, Metatron, and Sandalphon. They lived there by themselves for 560 thousand years before god the father created the rest of the angels. Eons after the creation of the heavens and the angels, He began the process of creating the earth.

After seven days, god the father had created the earth and tinkered with the ecosystem until he was sure that the planet could sustain a specific kind of life form. He decided to create the first man by creating all of the moving parts under water. At that point in earth’s history, there was no such thing as germs. That is why he used a pond as a sort of primordial petri dish where he would experiment for centuries by mixing and matching parts that started on the microscopic level and then escalated to the level of flesh and blood. What ensued was a process of trial and error that led to the death of countless experiments that were meant to be human beings, but failed to survive outside of the pond that they were created in.

Such was the cycle of life and death for the ill-fated experimental humans until one of them finally survived. He decided to name his first sustainable human creation Adam. After a while he decided to create a partner for Adam and thus he created Eve, the first woman. But Adam and Eve did not look at all they way they are portrayed in contemporary media. Instead of beautiful humans that look like they are prime Hollywood specimens, they were more akin to oblong mutants that resembled Cronenberg era body horror.

For all intents and purposes, Adam and Eve would be physically undesirable by everyone on earth today. But back then, they were miracles who lived and breathed the first moments of the human race’s currently ongoing history. They had no body hair at all and had asymmetrical facial features and limbs. Adam and Eve only possessed a fraction of human intelligence by today’s standards. Contrary to popular belief, they were always meant to leave the garden of Eden. Also, Eve was actually infertile by design. God the father perfected the process of physical child birth after eons of trial and error on his subsequent human creations.

Moreover, the notion that Satan infiltrated the garden of Eden in order to tempt Eve is a falsehood. The first primordial archangel to fall from grace and become the devil was Rahab, and he did not rebel until after the angels known as watchers crossed over into the physical realm and corrupted humankind. At any rate, god the father eventually improved his creation method until people started looking the way that they do today. At first the human constitution was such that people were able to live for centuries, but god the father decided to shorten the human lifespan to around a 100 years or so on a whim.

Over time, people got smarter to the point were they decided to band together in order to build the tower of babel. Contrary to popular belief, they had no conceivable notion of reaching the heavens. They simply wanted to build a monument to the unity of the human race. That’s when god the father decided to use his otherworldly influence to sow division among the humans. At some point thereafter, he introduced new languages that further divided humankind and even went as far as to alter his creation process so that humans were born looking more and more different until humans began to consider themselves to part of different races. In essence, he was the father of racism. Gone was the language of Adam and Eve, as was the unity that was displayed by humans from that point onward. Anecdotally, divine influence does not work on divinities. That is why humans are considered the least intelligent spiritual beings. Enough divine influence would break families up and end friendships; such a thing is not possible in the Soul Universe.

As it turns out, the creation vs evolution argument is redundant. Without a divine creator, life in the physical dimension would never have come into existence. What’s more, human babies must have a soul placed inside of them while they are in the womb, otherwise they will be stillborn. In theory, animals could continue to reproduce and thrive if left on the planet alone because they do not have souls to begin with. In any case, creating human souls for babies has become a chore to heaven’s new management.

As time time goes on, less and less humans will be born and the apocalypse will ensue as soon as Metatron returns to heaven. If you thought that the prophecies found in the book of revelations are fantastical, you have no idea how much larger the power scale is now that Metatron the god killer is in charge. To that end, saying that the end of the world will be a spectacle of biblical proportions would be the biggest understatement in existential(both dimensions) history. If you think that this is just another superstitious exaggeration, then you have obviously misconstrued the nature of Metatron the god killer’s existence. By all means, gamble your soul if you don’t believe that you have one.