Archangel Consolidated

Angelic Orders

by Joel Fernandez

For as long as there have been angels in heaven, they have been classified according to the different orders that they belong to. At one point there were 9, but god the father destroyed 4 for specific reasons. When Metatron the god killer came to power, one of the first things that he did was revive the defunct orders and then subsequently added the 10th. Today’s conversation will be about the 10 angelic orders and their unique functions and characteristics within the angelic hierarchy.

Before we get to the current state of affairs in heaven, there’s some important back story that you might consider to be pertinent information. To that end, there will be a brief summary of each order leading up to a very detailed explanation of the 10th. First up are the Seraphim; You can tell a Seraph apart from the angels of other classes looking at their fiery wings. Their defining characteristic is their passion, which is denoted by the flames that engulf their wings whenever they are excited or angry.

The Cherubim are known for their patience. A Cherub is most suited for the role of guardian angel or messenger because of the patience that it takes for angelkind to observe and deal with humans indirectly or otherwise. Just so you have an idea of the difference in the perception of time and space between the two races, 10 seconds to a human feels like 3 months to an angel because of the speed at which each angels process information. With that said, it takes a lot of patience and empathy for an angel to speak to a human at all.

The Elohim are the angels that are responsible for conveying the word of god to humankind. Their defining characteristic is wisdom because they have to be preceptive enough to know who to speak to and who to ignore. As we all know, the world has many religions that claim to be true even though they were founded by demons in disguise. As such, the Elohim will not speak to heathens or false Christians simply because it would be a waste of time.

The Principalities are responsible for ordering the deployment of the archangels and their corresponding legions (10 million warrior angels each) to specific areas of the territory that they are in charge of. After each battle, the archangels(generals) and their legions go back to heaven while the Principality angel remains in the country like a sentry. At least they did until heaven’s military wiped out all of the demon trash. Now that the war has been won and demons are extinct, they get to live in the Soul Society(angel heaven). As you would imagine, their defining characteristic is diligence.

The Powers are the angels that are responsible for managing the balance of power on all seven human planets. Each country is alloted a specific amount of Power angels that correlates to the amount of power that each country holds respectively. In essence, the Powers are the embodiment of “luck”. They are sent into their assigned countries and they literally pick people at random and bless their efforts with success. During his reign, god the father was not as interested in rewarding the faithful as he was in managing the balance of power among the world’s many nations. During Metatron’s reign, the powers will only work with true believers because the idea of a heathen benefiting from angelic assistance is simply unacceptable. For now, Earth’s Powers will operate as before. After the apocalypse, everything will change. As their defining characteristic is loyalty, they have outright abandoned countries that antagonize Metatron.

The Watchers were an order from a bygone era. They were in charge of watching over humanity before the concept of a guardian angel existed. As some of you may know, every believer has one guardian angel. The watchers were a group of 300 angels who collectively watched over humanity as guardians. At the time of their destruction, Azazel was their leader. He decided to not only cross over into the physical dimension in his divine form without permission, but also mate with human women and create the nephilim. Azazel also taught the humans witchcraft, which is nothing more than saying incantations so that demons can hear and react accordingly. He also taught the humans new ways of developing weapons for engaging in warfare.

Azazel and the Watcher’s plan was to use the nephilim(giant humans) to take over the world. This turn of events angered god the father so much that he imprisoned Azazel and the watchers and flooded the earth during the time of Noah and the ark. He would have killed them all, but the watcher’s constitution was too strong for god the father to destroy. He ultimately sent Metatron and his war council of archangels to execute them. Later on, Metatron revived the watchers and decided to forgive them, but Azazel would not submit and thus had to be killed and replaced as their leader by Arvinius. As the name of their order is the watchers, their defining characteristic is attentiveness. They no longer watch over humanity, but the remaining Watchers are part of heaven’s military nonetheless.

The Arazari were an offshoot of the Seraphim but did not have fire as the Seraphim do. Their defining characteristic is determination. They were essentially what vikings would be like if vikings were angels. They are ruthlessness in battle and their savagery was noteworthy even among the most blood thirsty warrior angels. The day that their leader Arsinius chose to disobey a direct order from god the father, they were immediately destroyed. Most divine warfare occurs without the human world noticing. But when the Arazari fought, their recklessness adversely affected the world of the humans. At some point, Metatron revived them and reinstated them as members of heaven’s military. He did so because as the most battle hardened of the archangels and the newly crowned Soul King and god of war, Metatron respects their desire to destroy heaven’s enemies.

The Conquestarri were designed to pro-actively seek out and destroy demons wherever they could find them, as opposed to waiting for them to show up to fight. Their leader, Chrisanthius, advocated a style of warfare that god the father considered too barbaric; so much so that watching the Conquestarri fight made god the father cringe. As their style of warfare was not pleasing to the eye, god arbitrarily destroyed them on a whim. Again, Metatron the god killer respected their desire to utterly annihilate heaven’s enemies and thus decided to revive and restore them to their former position in heaven’s military. The defining characteristic of the Conquestarri is assertiveness.

The Death Bringers were designed to do exactly what their name implies, bring death to anyone god the father pointed his finger at. Spirits in general have an aversion to directly affecting the physical dimension. It takes a certain amount of gumption for a spirit to do things like cause earthquakes or tsunamis in the name of killing humans. In order to override that fundamental truth of the spirit dimension, god the father created the death bringers with exceptionally morbid personalities. Because of that unique design choice, the death bringers were able to slaughter humans with grim precision, but at the cost of their angelic demeanor. They were like Gothic angels, similar to Gothic people that you might see at the mall sticking out like a sore thumb. They were so creepy that god the father decided to destroy them just for creeping him out. Eventually, Metatron revived them and decided to change their defining characteristic from morbidness to dutifulness. Now Jethro(their leader) and the death bringers function and behave as other angels do.

At some point Metatron the god killer dove head first into the abyss alone, not knowing what he would find. As it turns out, the abyss was not as bottomless as he was led to believe. While he was exploring the deep dark network of spirit tunnels, Metatron realized that the abyssal monstrosities who inhabit the abyss were on a power scale that was beyond god the father. Fortunately, the prince of the presence(Metatron) had already multiplied his own power exponentially by accident and thus was able to easily overcome the trillions of primordial monstrosities that called the abyss home singlehandedly.

After absorbing all of their power and killing them in that oder, Metatron’s power level increased exponentially at a faster rater than if he had not absorbed their power. Since he suddenly found himself with an abundance of finite spirit energy, he decided to create the 10th order of angels. They are celestial cyborgs that have a very special functionality in heaven’s military as well as the Soul Society in general. They are like a hybrid of three concepts that can be found in popular culture. They are mobile suits that are similar to the ones found in the Gundam anime. They are sentient beings that can speak and shape-shift like the autobots from the transformers movies, and they can join together to form larger machines like Voltron.

Much to everyone’s surprise, the angel mechs passively amplify their corresponding pilot’s power by 100. They were also blessed with the ability to customize their arsenal on the fly and shoot all kinds of missiles and lasers without ever running out of ammunition. The exponential increase in any given pilot’s power level means that even the rank and file warrior angels of heaven’s military can 1 v 1 an abyssal monstrosity with relative ease. As their capacity for destruction has changed the nature of celestial warfare forever, the defining characteristic of the angel mechs is destructiveness. That defining character trait is only tempered by loyalty to Metatron, their father.

As of today, every member of heaven’s military has an angel mech partner. That means that there are nearly 20 trillion angel mechs that are ready to rain down destruction on heaven’s enemies. They have enabled the Soul Society to establish itself as the dominant realm in the universe. If for some reason an angel mech rejects his or her pilot, that person is immediately discharged from the military and replaced shortly thereafter. It should be noted that the entire time that heaven existed up until Metatron evolved and transcended the circumstances of his primordial birth, the denizens of the abyss could have invaded and destroyed everyone there including god the father. Fortunately, The universal order of things has been established and we have won in the most definitive way possible.

These days the abyssal abominations literally bow down in submission at the sight of Archon the God Mech and Metatron the god killer. Archon the God Mech is obviously the leader of the angel mechs and Metatron’s partner in battle. He is by far the fastest and most powerful of them all even before he amplifies Metatron’s already omnipotent power level 500 times over. Simply put, it is impossible for the god of war to find a long term military engagement. While disappointing, it is certainly better than being uncertain about the outcome of any given battle.