Archangel Consolidated

A Critique of Pragmatism

by Joel Fernandez

The pragmatist philosophy was started in America during the 1870’s by Charles Sanders Pierce and was later expounded upon by William James and John Dewey. It considers thoughts and words to be instruments that are used to effectuate a desired change and not necessarily the means by which “reality” is described. Ladies and gentlemen, that is just like saying that it is acceptable to lie if the ends justify the means. Of course there is a much more convoluted way to describe the pragmatist philosophy, but there will be plenty of time in the following paragraphs to break down those explanations according to their grammatical context.

Pierce said that in order to understand a conception in a fruitful way, one must “consider the practical effects of the objects in your conception. Then your conception of those effects is the whole of your conception of the object”. In other words, the words that you use to describe your goal don’t matter as long as you achieve your goal. At least we know the true origin of the bait and switch philosophy. Pierce championed the notion that inquiry depends on real doubt, as opposed to mere verbal or hyperbolic doubt. Again, grammatically downplaying the significance of correlating words to actions. The quoted statements were part of what Pierce called the “pragmatic maxim”.

The aforementioned “pragmatic maxim” equates any conception of an object to the general extent of the conceivable implications for informed practice of that object’s effects. The terms conceivable and implications used one after another is troubling because to imply something is not the same as stating it. In this particular context, the word conceivable is an obvious synonym for believable. In other words, there is an inferred difference between what a person knows and what they can prove.

It is worth noting that the word practicality has been cleverly conflated with pragmatism to the extent that one can imagine them to be synonyms. It is also worth noting that practicality is a word and not an entire philosophy. Meaning that the use of overly convoluted contrivances as a means to pass one thing off as the other is fundamental to the pragmatist philosophy. To that end, the implementation of pragmatism in any country will ultimately lead to a culture of lies and half truths. The problem is that most people who behave in such an inherently dishonest manner don’t even know where their world view comes from because of the varying education levels in any given population.

Now we will attempt to use pragmatic vernacular to describe a correlation between supernatural events and the physical world that we all live in. By now many of you may be aware that there are nine angelic orders in heaven, one of which is known as the powers. The powers are billions of angels who’s purpose is to be the embodiment of what humanity calls “luck”. They are assigned individually or in groups to make sure that x amount of people in a given country succeed in their goals, whatever they may be. Here’s the thing, they don’t necessarily have to help people who believe in god. If you wanted to know why good things happen to bad people, now you know. In the past there was also demonic influence that had to be factored into the balance of power, but they have all been destroyed by Metatron and the rest of heaven’s military and thus are not part of the conversation.

At any rate, each country is assigned a certain amount of powers in order for god the father to manipulate world events. Up until now, the United States had the most powers assigned to work within their borders. God actually wanted to condition America’s politicians to believe themselves to be the rulers of the world; an attitude that would eventually compel them to start an apocalyptic nuclear war.

That is precisely why America has become known as the land of opportunity. It is a place where people can become famous for being famous without having any real talent. But recently there was an upheaval of the universal hierarchy that has some rather serious implications for the physical world.

The celestial being known as god the father was actually driven insane by his omniscience because of the fact that he was not born with the gift and was unable to turn it on and off at will. He became what humans might call a mad king that engaged in self destructive behavior until his insanity finally got the best of him. He raped hundreds of thousands of angel girls and human women who went to heaven. After he was done with them, he threw them into the abyss where they were eaten alive by primordial monstrosities. He would have gotten away with it if it had not been for the fact that he betrayed his most loyal son, Metatron.

Metatron has been heaven’s biggest war hero since the beginning of time and was beloved by all. What Jesus is to many humans, Metatron is to angelkind. In any case, god the father tried to coerce Metatron’s wife (Genevieve) to have sex with him. When she refused despite his haughty attempts at intimidation, he sent her to earth with her memory wiped. Fortunately, Metatron was able to overthrow him because his power unexpectedly grew strong enough to destroy the mad king. He promptly had his wife raptured back to heaven in her angelic form but had to stay behind because his soul became too heavy to be moved in such a way by other spirits. In order for Metatron to regain his celestial form, his human body has to die. At this point you might be wondering what any of this has to do with pragmatism. Rest assured that an explanation is imminent.

While on earth on a fools errand given to him by god the father himself, Metatron’s human form was subjected to all kinds of slander and lies by the “pragmatic” American media and politicians. It just so happens that America was favored by god the father because the pragmatism of luring god fearing women to heaven in order to rape and kill them while humanity was none the wiser was similar to some of the tactics employed by America’s ruling class when it comes to protecting and furthering their respective interests. Unfortunately for them, the false god that propped them up for so long has been literally killed and the guy that they persecuted for so long suddenly has the authority to supernaturally shift the balance of power in the world by reassigning the powers.

If one examines the practical effect of the action of ordering the powers that were assigned to America to go north of the border, it would mean that the economy in America would deteriorate until the balance of power in the world would shift towards countries who still have all of their angels in place. In the future, the powers will only help believers. Because quite frankly there is nothing more annoying to a devout believer than to see a heathen be blessed with dumb luck. But for now, the powers on earth will function as they have before. Helping random people in order to manipulate world events. After the apocalypse, the distribution of luck will no longer be thus.

In conclusion, the only reason that philosophy and culture can prevail within the standards of the world at large is because of the distribution of the powers. Obviously success is commensurate with hard work, but there are a lot of people working hard in the world and there’s only so much success to go around. Moreover, it is unwise for a country with no powers to start trade disputes with countries who still have theirs. It will be very gradual process; but in time, the universal hierarchy will become evident to everyone on earth. To that end, the winners and losers will be sorted out and labeled appropriately. Perhaps they can do or say something to change Metatron’s mind. A simple apology would be nice.